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by Eliasisbiased



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Eyeliner, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Makeup, Nail Polish, i will die with that belief, kyoudad is a good dad, no beta we die like daichi, self discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:40:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26248078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eliasisbiased/pseuds/Eliasisbiased
Summary: Kentarou was eleven years old when he started to think about wearing make-up. He remembers the exact moment that it happened, him standing in the local pharmacy, hiding behind his dad as he bought medicine for his sister who was sick at the time with the flu.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





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**Author's Note:**

> yo! so this is probably really shit as usual but i wanted to do a kinda character study on my favorite boy so here you go. i also wanted to get something else posted before i went back to school on thursday. i will still be working on threw the facade out the window bc that fic is my baby, i just wanted to get some of my one shots done because there are so many of them at this point.

Kentarou was eleven years old when he started to think about wearing make-up. He remembers the exact moment that it happened, him standing in the local pharmacy, hiding behind his dad as he bought medicine for his sister who was sick at the time with the flu. Bored, Kentarou’s eyes wandered the store displays, reading what each one of them said as a way of passing the time. 

His eyes landed on a display for eyeliner, it was a small display, considering the size of the pharmacy that they were in that was understandable, and the makeup wasn’t a fancy brand or anything like that, but the image behind it of a woman applying the eyeliner made him think ‘I want to do that.’

The very thought itself caused Kentarou to tense up because there was no way that he could do that, no way that he would even be allowed to do something like that. Sure his dad had always raised him with the belief that you could do whatever you wanted so long as it made you happy, but that was more to do with things like playing volleyball, riding a bike, and eating your favorite food, not wearing makeup. He was dragged out of his thoughts by the sound of his dad thanking the pharmacist and taking Kentarou’s hand, leading them out of the shop with the medicine he had bought in his other hand and his usual bright smile on his face. It made him think that maybe he would be all right with something like that. ‘But he wouldn’t’ his mind says again, and he lets go of his dad's hand, sparing one final glance to the display before they were out the door and on their way back home.

The idea of wearing make up still sticks in his mind and now, along with it is the idea of wearing nail polish as well. He sees people wear it pretty often to and from school. Women with expertly painted nails, having the designs put on show as they tap away on their phones or have them swinging confidently by their sides as they walk down the street. 

He wonders what it would feel like to wear it. How would it look against his skin? Would it feel different if he were to brush his nails against his skin than it would without? He brushes his nails against the back of his hand and shakes his head. Kentarou stores the thought in the back of his mind and decides to himself that its okay to look because looking doesn’t hurt anyone, he just can’t want to wear it.

So he continues like that, Kentarou continues to sneak the odd glance at displays whenever he got the chance, being sure to be careful when he was with other people, and secretly hoped that they were too engrossed in whatever they were looking at to notice.

//

One day, Kentarou comes home to see his dad in the kitchen, already cooking dinner, and his sister sitting in the living room completely focused on the TV as it played at a volume that seemed slightly too loud for Kentarou. He walks into the kitchen and sees a small gift bag on the table. ‘Odd’ he thinks, ‘it’s not anyone’s birthday, maybe it's for a co-worker or something.’ His dad, Kosuke, notices his presence and turns to face him from where he is next to the counter. “Hey Ken,” he says, “I got you something, have a look,” and he points to the gift bag. 

Suprised, Kentarou slowly makes his way over to the bag and looks inside it to find an eyeliner pencil and a bottle of black nail polish.

At first, he’s not sure how to react, he’s certain that this is some sort of practical joke or test. That if he accepts the gift then he’ll be made fun of, or yelled at for liking this sort of thing. So he doesn’t react, he just stays completely still because this means that he hadn’t been as subtle about looking as he thought he was, that other people had noticed him looking enough for it to be read as him genuinely wanting to wear it. His dad walks over to him. “Do you like it?” he asks, “I was going to ask if you wanted a specific color, but I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Kentarou doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t know what he should say, a ‘thank you’ would have probably been good. But he doesn’t say anything, he just hugs him, squeezing as tight as possible and hopes that the message is understood. He thinks it is, because his dad chuckles softly and hugs back, squeezing tight in return before letting go. “I need to finish dinner,” he says softly, “You all right with helping me?”

Kentarou nods, quickly saying “Yeah that’s fine,” before making his way into the kitchen.

//

After dinner, and once Kentarou’s sister has been put to bed, he and Kosuke sit at the Kitchen table with the nail polish out as Kentarou attempts to paint his nails. He fumbles pretty quickly, despite his best efforts, getting it outside of the nail and onto his cuticles. It’s frustrating, he’s annoyed that even after putting so much effort into it that it doesn’t look the way that he wants it to, after wanting to do this for so long. “These things take practice Ken,” Kosuke says, “Every one kinda sucks at the things they want to do when they’re doing it for the first time. Do you think I started out being amazing at woodwork when I tried it for the first time?”

“No...” he mutters because it was true. His dad still has the very first wood carving that he did as a child on display in the living room, a scrappy mess of a thing that was supposed to be a fish, but more closely resembles a misshapen blob. But Kosuke still loves it, because it was a reminder of where he started out, and of what got him into doing the thing that he loves. “Should I try again?” he asks.

“I think that you should. Do you want to use my hands as practice?”

Kentarou looks up, shocked. “You really okay with that?”

“Of course, it will probably chip pretty quickly, but I don’t mind.”

“Oh,” is all he can respond with. He’s shocked that he would be okay with something like that. It’s one thing to let your kid do this sort of thing, but to do it yourself? It just didn’t seem to make any sense. 

He starts to practice on his dad, and that makes things easier. He also isn’t afraid of wearing it outside of the house, even if it does chip away really quickly, it helps Kentarou feel more confident about wearing it out in public himself. Before long, Kentarou is able to apply the nail polish much faster than before, and he feels proud because he’s able to see the improvement that he’s made.

Kentarou didn’t practice eye-liner with his dad. He felt like that would be taking it a step too far, and he didn’t want to cross any boundaries after he had been so accepting of everything else, but every now and then, Kosuke would give him tips on how to keep a steady hand when applying it. "Ken!" Kentarou turns from the mirror as his dad walks into the small bathroom, putting a hand on his head and messing up the short locks. "It looks good" he says, as he stands there, eyeliner pencil in hand, trying to make the wings on each side look even. Kentaro leans into the touch, "thanks dad."

**Author's Note:**

> constructive critisism is always appretiated and im aware that the ending is slightly awkward, i just dont know what to do about it. *cries* anyway, see you next time i update, whenever that may be :)


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